starmont enterprises
A Shonaldmann Corporation
welcome!
Welcome, valued employees, to the Starmont Enterprises, a Shonaldmann Corporation team retreat celebrating the merger of the Donaldson Company and the Shapiro-Weissmann & Co.! We hope you have a wonderful time exploring our new website built just for you!
press release
our services
Starmont Enterprises is proud to offer a wide variety of services within affordable price ranges. We specialize in custom, modular products based on specifications and demos provided by our clients. To get a quote for your complete project, please submit a rough prototype of each module you would like customized and incorporated into the final product.Please note that we require a total quote minimum of $35k in order to proceed with the project. You’ll find our catalog of modules below:
| Service | Price in USD |
|---|---|
| Evidence of an OSHA violation | 6k |
| User’s manual for a frequently misused kitchen tool | 4k |
| Corsage and Boutonniere made only of standard office supplies | 10k |
| Watercooler talk | 7k |
| Discontinued company swag | 2k |
| Anti-theft sandwich | 6k |
| Tattoo of your company logo | 4k |
| Framed “inspirational” quote | 3k |
| Escape room victory photo | 4k |
| Company party poster showing the intern’s passion for graphic design | 3k |
| Phone call that could’ve been an email | 3k |
| Ergonomic chair for the people by the people | 10k |
| HR’s secret list of resume buzzwords that will automatically disqualify the candidate | 8k |
| Today’s page off the CEO’s Daily Animal Facts calendar | 7k |
| Outfit within the office dress code but taking advantage of at least one loophole | 10k |
| Last year’s prize for the company fitness challenge | 2k |
about the website refresh
*not a puzzle!
Some helpful information:
The Shonaldmann Corp Puzzle Experience will be available from Friday evening until Sunday afternoon.Additional puzzles may or may not appear at any given time.There are no teams except for the Shonaldmann Corporation. Work together to achieve greatness, symbiosis, and profit!These puzzles are Not That Big of a Deal -- make sure to spend time with each other and enjoying the other elements of the retreat. Thank your teammates for writing these for you!Want to check an answer or get a hint? Niki is answering messages from the central office -- DM them on Discord, signal, or via text for an answer check or hint!
ourmissionstatement
Starmont Enterprises by the Shonaldmann LLC is an iconic company, founded by iconic individuals.1 Shapiro-Weissmann Enterprises and the Donaldson Corporation have joined forces under a commitment to trust each other, succeed together, and grow together.1 The resulting collaboration is the stuff that dreams are made of,2 proving yet again that the right relationship is everything.4Eventually, it all comes down to people,7 and our people vow to act as if the company’s priorities are your own.8 We cannot promise specific outcomes or risk-free results,10 but we will always deliver the best experience.11 Starmont Enterprises is a lean, agile competitor that responds quickly to customer need with innovative solutions.13 Through our transformative Best of Both strategy,14 we will drive change, embrace disruption, and never stop learning.17 We are moving forward with confidence and excitement—our best days are ahead.20- - - - - - - - - - - - -
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2* Recommended
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8* Recommended, Related
10* Related
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* Repeated
Our Locations
Some look down on a distributed workforce. HQ just takes more time to process the distance from our many locations.Snake Island
Maseeh Hall
O'Keefe Sports Complex (walk up from Day Ave)
Boston Harbor Hotel
Sacramento Field
Genoa Health Care (come down from Rutherford Ave)
Beren Tennis Pavilion
Cambria Hotel (go right on Laurel St)
The Apartments at 114 Glenville Ave
Pleasure Bay
Jitters Cafe
Mass Masonry and Stone (enter from McDonough Way)
Glendale Park
Party of 13
congratulations!
look at that teamwork! that synergy! that profit potential!!!you know what they say: keep your friends close and your valued coworkers closer. thanks for playing!